Here are some legal truisms to ponder! 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Please don't hit me - my lawyer's in jail. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Justice: A decision in your favor. Lawyer says client is not that guilty. Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. It's half a % better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six. People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made. What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away. Laws are like cobwebs which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through. Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? On a bill from lawyer, typed by his secretary: Bull rendered: $500. Grand Jury: One that say, "Not Guilty." Lawyer: A cat who settles disputes between mice. Man minus ear waives hearing. Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back. Judge Not Convinced Murder Victim is Still Alive Lawyer Calls Soul As Witness Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. Testimoney: Fees paid to expert witnesses