The Kitchen Is A Death Trap For Me,

when I cook I take my life in my hands,

on the few forays I have in the kitchen twice I have nearly burnt the house down, both times I was boiling a couple of eggs and woke up 5 or 6 hours later to smoke, a terrible smell and a melted saucepan, then I did it again a year or so latter, the one time I used the microwave it glowed at me like some demented furnace in a horror movie in a basement, but Diana just loves cooking, she finds so many recipes on the Internet, other than then eating the food she cooks the best bit is reading some of the comments after the recipe, now here is the good news, The Toast has collected many comments and here are a few of them,

“I didn’t have any eggs, so I replaced them with a banana-chia-flaxseed pulse. It turned out terrible; this recipe is terrible.”

“Could you please give the metric weight measurements, and sometime in the next twenty minutes; I’m making this for a dinner party and my guests are already here.”

“a warning that if you cook this at 275°F for three hours instead of at 400°F for twenty-five minutes its completely ruined. do you have any suggestions?”

“I didn’t have buttermilk, so I just poured baking soda into a container of raspberry yogurt. It tasted terrible.”

note to self, the advice, stay out of the kitchen still works well.