A Few Famous 1 Liners,

all of the below were made by one man, 1. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes -“You look like you’re ready for bed!” 2. On key problems facing Brazil - “Brazilians live there” 3. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union - “The bastards murdered half my family” 4. To a driving instructor in Scotland - “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” 5. China State Visit, to British students - If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed. 6. To an Aborigine in Australia - “Do you still throw spears at each other?” 7. At a Washington Embassy reception for Commonwealth members-Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. 8. On Air Travel: If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate how much more aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly. 9. To a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, on a visit to Wales. Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you’re deaf. 10. At the height of the UK recession in 1981: Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed. 11. On Canada: We don’t come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. 12. In Kenya, after accepting a gift from an indigenous woman: You are a woman, aren’t you? 13. To Tom Jones: What do you gargle with - pebbles? 14. On Chinese Eating Habits: If it has got four legs and is not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. 15. And finally, my personal favourite: To a blind women with a guide dog - “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” You may have gussed it by now, all spoken by Prince Phillip of the United Kingdom.