Wednesday, 8 February 2017

A Few Famous 1 Liners,

that I have to admit we have posted before,

I found them again and they still made me chuckle! all of the below were made by one man,

1. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes -“You look like you’re ready for bed!” 
2. On key problems facing Brazil - “Brazilians live there” 
3. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union - “The bastards murdered half my family” 
4. To a driving instructor in Scotland - “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?” 
5. China State Visit, to British students - If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed. 
6. To an Aborigine in Australia - “Do you still throw spears at each other?” 
7. At a Washington Embassy reception for Commonwealth members-Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. 
8. On Air Travel: If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate how much more aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly. 
9. To a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, on a visit to Wales. Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you’re deaf. 
10. At the height of the UK recession in 1981: Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed. 
11. On Canada: We don’t come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. 
12. In Kenya, after accepting a gift from an indigenous woman: You are a woman, aren’t you? 
13. To Tom Jones: What do you gargle with - pebbles? 
14. On Chinese Eating Habits: If it has got four legs and is not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. 
15. And finally, my personal favourite: To a blind women with a guide dog - “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” 

You may have guessed it by now, all spoken by Prince Philip of the United Kingdom.

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