Saturday 3 December 2011

To Help Promote His New Business,

Martyn Crute, who runs a plumbing and heating firm in Sleaford, Lincolnshire,


decided to spend £100,000 moving his showroom to an abandoned pub in the town centre, he set up this wood burning stove above in the adjacent alleyway and fired it up, the stove immediately proved a popular attraction and helped drum up several enquiries and firm orders, it should at this stage be pointed out the stove was on private land, not in a public place, also he had cleared it with his insurers in advance to make sure the grill around the stove was adequate to insure no one was injured and a prominent warning notice was posted, despite this a few jobsworths from from North Kesteven Environmental Health arrived a couple of days later to close him down, they left after they said the stove presented a potential danger to the public and a proper risk assessment would have to be carried out,


two hours later, a fire engine arrived, lights flashing, sirens blaring, shortly afterwards, the men from the council came back and said that even though the stove was on private land, it was against the law to have a fire within 50 metres of a public highway, the next minute the police turned up, saying they had been called to prevent a breach of the peace, they were joined by a fire prevention officer, who had driven over specially from Grantham to join the excitement, at one stage there were 11 assorted authority figures in attendance — five firemen, two cops, three elf’n’safety officers and the fire prevention jobsworth,


a few comments, Keiron Davey, Community Fire Protection Manager 'the fire presented a potential danger to members of the public and to surrounding property', Mark Stuart NKDC Environmental Health Officer had responded to a complaint from a local councillor, he explained Mr. Crute, 'had failed to adequately identify the risks', yes I surpose the sign this stove is hot was not really an adequate warning, Martin Crute from the business, 'we cannot believe they are wasting tax payers’ money sending out a fire engine', well it was a huge stove, I mean look at the size of it in the picture,




then a miracle happened, a member of the press arrived and started taking pictures all 11 jobsworths beat a hasty retreat, eventually, a compromise was reached and the council agreed that the stove could stay, provided Mr Crute let them carry out an official risk assessment and installed a purpose-built cage designed to their specifications, yesterday, the cage was delivered, it’s six feet long, five feet high and three feet deep, it cost Mr Crute £300 and has to be screwed to the wall and floor,


it is a pity all of the above public sector workers were not on strike, then Mr. Crute could concentrate on making some money to pay them and keep paying in to their pension fund! and is it not strange that when a press photographer stopped to take some pictures these jobsworths all ran away?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you realise Mr crut is a well known local cowboy? He even dressed as a woman once so people wouldn't recognise him in court hehe.
Google him!! ;) Embers Sleaford.

Anonymous said...

Do you realise this bloke is known locally as a cowboy and has not only ripped people off, bodged and not finished jobs but once turned up at court in drag in the hope the press wouldn't recognise him.. Google him and Embers Sleaford! ;)

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